הכרויות סקס דיסקרטיות|הכרויות למטרת סקס

I know this sounds shallow. I know looks are fleeting. I know it’s far less important than compatibility, values, and personality. I know that attraction isn’t always physical and can be developed overtime through personality. I just once would really like to end up with someone who I immediately am attracted to (and compatible with) no drama. I know I am highly attractive myself as I get told this a few times a day. My dating history is just a long list of me giving chances to people who I wasn’t necessarily attracted to and initially had no interest in. Some of those relationships were bad, one was long term and good until it was really bad. Now I’m interested in dipping my toes back in the dating pool again after a long hiatus. It seems like I’m just not really pursued by people I’d consider my type and they don’t respond if I pursue them first. Now it’s gotten to the point where, when I do see someone I find attractive (which is rare), I shut down and switch up out of anxious attachment fears and projections. I work with the public and see repeating characters in my work so it’s not like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know ultimately the solution is to reach secure attachment but attractive people are my weak spot that I can’t seem to shake. I know this sounds stupid and shallow but it just is something that’s bothered me for years. I’ve been in and out of therapy. I’ve done a lot of work on myself but this fear of abandonment is so damn hard to kick.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: I’m scared of settling for someone i don’t find attractive, and I’m scared that if I “hold out” long enough in hopes they’ll come along, I’ll end up alone.

Please be kind in your responses.